Testimony From Your Perfect Girl

Annie Tripp has everything she needs–Italian sweaters, vintage chandelier earrings, and elite ice skating lessons–but all that changes when her father is accused of scamming hundreds of people out of their investments. Annie knows her dad wasn’t at fault, but she and her brother are exiled to their estranged aunt and uncle’s house in a run-down part of Breckenridge–until the trial blows over.

Life with her new family isn’t quite up to Annie’s usual standard of living, but surprisingly, pretending to be someone else offers a freedom she’s never known. As Annie starts to make real friends for the first time, she realizes she has more in common with her aunt and uncle than she ever wanted to know. As the family’s lies begin to crumble and truths demand consequences, Annie must decide which secrets need to see the light of day . . . and which are worth keeping.

Testimony From Your Perfect Girl , Kaui Hart Hemmings
May 14, 2019

Maggie’s Thoughts

Listen, it’s no secret that neither of us like contemporary. We’ve talked about it ad nauseum on the podcast and on most reviews (it’s why we invited our friend Davis onto the project, he’s our contemporary boi!). And when Jessi told me we had some ARCs for a contemporary book coming up, I rolled my eyes and sighed. I wasn’t exactly enthused about it at all.

I read Testimony From Your Perfect Girl on my off time during work, or when it was slow. And then something strange happened.

I didn’t want to put Hemming’s book down.

Which is an absolute phenomenon when it comes to me & contemporary books.

Sure, it was hard to get into Testimony From Your Perfect Girl. And I audibly groaned and complained about the very first paragraph of the book–which describes, in detail, what the main character was wearing. I found Annie to be annoying and hard to relate to, and I was frustrated with the lack of information about the inciting incident. And then I realized that that’s exactly what Annie was going through.

I got pulled in by Hemmings’s easy flowing writing, and I started to relate to Annie a little bit more as she got herself a job, stumbled through some romance, found out more about herself and as she slowly started to redefine who she was, I started to get to like her. I liked being in the quiet little story–despite how often Jessi and I exclaim how much we want dragons and robots and exploding suns. It was a good little emotional book to ease me back into enjoying to read.

That’s not to say there weren’t some things that could have been better; I absolutely wanted some more tense moments. But the times we got that tension, it felt like real life tension. Robot dragons may be in your face tension, but trying to work through emotional trauma and redefining family borders is tense enough.

There were some laugh out loud moments–and I praise this book 100% for it’s fierce feminist sex-positive message. I loved watching the relationships build between Annie and her aunt and uncle. Some of the times when Annie and Aunt Nicole were hanging out felt so pure, it watered my crops and cleared my acne.

Jessica’s Thoughts

As I’ve practically tattooed on forehead, I’m not a fan of contemporary. And Testimony From Your Perfect Girl was distinctly lacking in killer AI programs falling in love and murdering whole ships of people for one single girl. But I decided to give it a chance.

Annie Trip introduces herself to us in luxury. She puts on designer sweaters like the rest of us put on those ratty old jeans from high school. And she stays in that naive, rich girl trope for a long time.

I agree with part of Maggie’s review, that this lack of information was incredibly frustrating, but obviously necessary. But I’d like to add that she only goes out of her way to ask or learn about the trial once and even after she gets some finite details about the extent of the damage her father has done, she doesn’t seem to register it.

In fact, Annie doesn’t seem to register much. And at first, I saw this as a pretty fair representation of the depressive spiral, giving her cause to act out just to see if a change in behavior would help. I was even proud of her for standing up to a guy who used her obviously weakened state for a good time on New Year’s Eve, when she shouted about what she’d done for him in the woods. And I was glad to see that of all the lessons Annie did take to heart that the lesson that sex is not affection one seemed to actually stick.

But it took a lot to really drive home just how many lives her father’s fraud screwed over. It’s not enough to hear it from old friends, but new friends also need to tack on that they are working more because their families have lost so much.

As the story progresses we find out that all the adults in Annie’s life have lied to her about one thing or another. This really clouded the story and diluted Annie’s chances at confronting her parents about the damage that had been done to so many people’s lives, including her own.

There were some funny moments and definitely a great lesson the autonomy of sex, but the plot overall felt watered down and slow. While I don’t think the plot should have been dumbed down to only focus on her father’s trial, I do wish more of the problems in Testimony From Your Perfect Girl had focused on the trial and its consequences for Annie.

Maggie’s Rating
Jessica’s Rating

By J. M. Tuckerman

J.M.Tuckerman is a neurodivergent writer with a big education. She holds an MFA in Writing for Children and Young Adults, an MA in Writing, and a BA in Writing Arts (specializing in Creative Writing, New Media Writing, and Publication; concentrating in New Media Production), which she somehow managed to earn despite her three very loud and large dogs. Jessica was lucky enough to intern at Quirk Books and Picador, USA while earning her master’s degrees. Her service dog, Ringo, is very proud of all that she has accomplished and hopes to be on a back cover of a published book with her very soon. An avid reader, writer, and lover of young adult and middle-grade literature, Jessica’s bookshelf is overflowing with hardbacks, paperbacks, and a million half-filled notebooks. She is a proud fur-mommy to two lab/st-bernard littermates, a retriever-mix service dog, and one orange little hobgoblin cat, all of whom have made very audible appearances on the Booked All Night podcast.

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